Stupid Family Holiday to France
The Stupid family have just returned from their annual holiday in France, and as usual the Loir region just south of Arnage proved to be fruitful in the hunt for half way accommodation for a couple of days on the way down. This once again gave Stupid Bloke the ideal excuse to drag the kids and long suffering one on a mini tour of the whole experience.
This naturally started at the Champion Supermarket on the Le Mans ring road where the Blokes have traditionally bought their slabs of 33.
Next stop, the main entrance of the circuit, where the nice security chap let us through for a stroll to the trackside. Mrs Stupid, not renown for her tolerance of such things, retired for coffee and cake in the museum restaurant.
Stupid Bloke, who is constantly pestered by two of his three treasures to let them come along for the pilgrimage, stood in the grandstands opposite the pits and attempted to describe, to his offspring, being surrounded by half a million beer’ed up blokes, who are all 3 times as tall as they are. He continued that it could be 40 degrees and / or pissing with rain while your eardrums are constantly assaulted by the scream of race cars passing at full tilt, 10 foot from where we were standing.
Stupid Bloke, by this point grinning widely while two of his offspring struggle to imagine such a scene, continues by describing how each of the blokes will walk more over the weekend than his kids have done in their short lives so far.
And then sleep under canvas in temperatures ranging from over 30 to less than 10degrees, while ignoring race cars, fireworks and loud music from your neighbours which goes on until 5:30 in the morning.
And the sanitary facilities, while massively improved in recent years, could only be tolerated while drunk. Memorable 40 minute queues for a dump if you time it wrong. Showering under a bucket / standpipe and having tide marks from the sweat and dust all over your filthy exhausted body
God I can’t wait until June 2006 but the sprogs ain’t going with me, not until they are 18 that is.
Anyway a glance over the track showed that Mr Bulldozer had clearly been at work on the old village, well I guess that France has an abundance of building contractors at a loose end now that the little 2012 issue has been resolved.
We returned for a dash round the motor museum (well worth a visit) and as much as Stupid Bloke longed to look at the exhibits, his Stupid kids were bored shitless so in the end he conceded defeat and went straight to the Le Mans competitors, only briefly glancing at a stunning Voisin Aerodyne.
We rounded the day off looking at all the driver plaques on the pavements in Le Mans city centre while Mrs Stupid embarked on a shopping extravaganza the like of which will not been seen again. Three hours pounding the pavements and all she has to show for it is one nice shoulder bag which cost her 20Euros.
The final part of the experience was saved for the journey home, at the end of the holiday. Alencon Sud Maccy D was ideally placed for the Stupid kids supper…